Language and Humor

Dajare (Puns)
駄洒落

Below are my original dajare, which I’ve romanized and translated into English.

以下は自分が作ったローマ字と英語訳付きの駄洒落です。

林のそばの学校はすごい英語教育。梅林があるから。
Hayashi no soba no gakkou wa sugoi Eigo kyouiku. Bairin ga aru kara.
The English education at the school next to the grove is incredible. That’s because bairin ga aru [‘there’s a plum grove’, or ‘it’s bilingual’ ].
コスプレーやったらケビン・コスナー、警備員コスなー。
Kosupuree yattara, Kebin Kosunaa, keibiin-kosu naa.
If he were into cosplay [costume play: wearing costumes], Kevin Costner would wear a guard [keibiin] costume, huh.
「漢字で 『豕』 にウ冠を足すと、 『ぶたごや』?」
「いえ。」
“Kanji de ‘inoko’ ni u-kanmuri o tasu to, ‘butagoya’?”
“Ie.”
“In kanji if you add the roof radical [ [IMAGE: Japanese character radical] ] to ‘pig’ [ [IMAGE: Japanese character; TEXT: inoko] ], is it ‘pigsty’?”
Ie.” [‘No’, or ‘House’ [IMAGE: Japanese character; TEXT: ie] ]
娘: 「ただ今。」
母: 「多大。。。間ねェー。」
Musume: “Tadaima.”
Haha: “Tadai . . . ma neee.”
Daughter: “I’m home.”
Mother: “[You’ve been gone] a long while, HAVEN’T you . . . .”
「日本語で 『a fly』 知ってる?」
「はい。」
「ブー、ハエ。」
“Nihongo de ‘a fly’ shitteru?”
“Hai.”
“Buu, Hae.”
“Do you know ‘a fly’ [hae] in Japanese?”
“Yes [Hai].”
“Ehh [incorrect-answer buzzer]. Hae.”
OLのビキニ覆えるの、ニキビ?
OL [ooeru] no bikini ooeru no, nikibi?
Does the female office worker’s [“office lady’s”] bikini cover them up, her pimples [nikibi] that is?
政府なのに、危ない。
Seifu na no ni, abunai.
Even though it’s seifu [‘government’, or ‘safe’], it’s dangerous.
論理学者はロンリー、各者。
Ronrigakusha wa ronrii, kakusha.
Logicians are lonely, every one.
大丈夫、今日、大乗仏教?
Daijoubu, kyou, Daijoubukkyou?
Is it all right today—Mahayana Buddhism?
アバンギャルドの生け花流派が創立したい。いつの日か、いつの日か花は逆さ、そうよ!(笑いなさい)
(喜納昌吉&チャンプルーズの 「花」 にごめん)
Abangyarudo no ikebana ryuuha ga souritsu shitai. Itsu no hi ka, itsu no hi ka hana wa sakasa, sou yo! (Warai nasai)
(Kina Shoukichi & Chanpuruuzu no “Hana” ni gomen)
I want to found an avant-garde school of ikebana [Japanese flower arranging]. One day, one day, the flowers will be upside down, really! (Please laugh)
(with apologies to Shoukichi Kina & Champloose’s “Hana” [the lyrics of which are the same as the second sentence except it goes hana o sakasou yo, ‘I’ll make the flowers bloom.’])