Language and Humor Blog » daffynition http://languageandhumor.com/blog Language, linguistics, English, foreign languages, sign languages, humor/humour, comedy Thu, 11 Aug 2011 22:26:37 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 ‘A Mother’s Dictionary’: List of new meanings for old words http://languageandhumor.com/blog/2008/05/a-mothers-dictionary-list-of-new-meanings-for-old-words/ http://languageandhumor.com/blog/2008/05/a-mothers-dictionary-list-of-new-meanings-for-old-words/#comments Fri, 09 May 2008 03:30:39 +0000 Kevin http://languageandhumor.com/blog/?p=352 Continue reading →]]> Straight Goods [EDIT (6/7/10): archive access requires free subscription] has a “definition list for new mothers,” with new meanings for familiar words. My favorites are:

  • Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster[.]
  • Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.
  • Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
  • Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.
  • Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.
  • Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything.

Happy Mother’s Day to all who perform that vital role.

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